Heirloom Pineapple

From the dawn of time, the quest for “Pristine Cannabis” has consumed the minds of the great apes.

In 2001, Ray McLovin decided to aid humanity in this quest.

After 20 years of breeding, McLovin’s flagship strain, Heirloom Pineapple, is ready for YOU.

Grown deep in the heart of Mendocino County’s pristine forest alongside the wildflowers, oak trees, deer, and bears, Heirloom Pineapple is touched by the WILD and will invigorate the spirit, steady the mind, and balance the body.

Only Heirloom Pineapple can get you “Fully Baked”. That’s right folks, while other strains might be able to get you “Half Baked”, only Heirloom Pineapple can take you ALLL THE WAY THERE.

Heirloom Pineapple will blast your tastebuds to a *celestial island paradise* of soft white sand and deep blue water. Summer never ends in Heirloom Pineapple’s world of flavor. Beautiful multi-colored Merfolk will serenade your tastebuds from the warm, calm water of the emerald cove while they relax under the swaying palm trees.

After the initial blast of *celestial island paradise*, your tastebuds will be transported to the very groovy aftertaste of *70s night fever*. With sparkling pizzazz and unstoppable panache, your tastebuds will whisked away to a sultry 70s after party where it’s ALL good and there’s nothing to do but get down, get high, and “Boogie”. ReDISCOver the lost art of the “Boogie” with Heirloom Pineapple.

After the FLAVOR SAGA has come to an end, you will be able to revel in the unique, ineffable, “Legendary” high that only Heirloom Pineapple can provide. You will be finally, quintessentially, undisputedly “FULLY BAKED”.

2 thoughts on “Heirloom Pineapple”

  1. I traveled the seven seas, crawled through forests, jumped from continent to continent, on this quest, a quest that took me from the lowlands of the Low Countries to the highest peaks in the Sierras. Finally, my quest is no more, I found my destiny and Heirloom Pineapple is it! For this Dutchman finding the Pineapple is a quest completed! A dream come true!

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    1. Yay verily, thus McLovin strode forth and spread the Pineapple to the corners of the land, and the great night that had plagued the people was no more for they were FULLY BAKED.

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